i close my eyes and try to soak it into every pore, every cranny of my memory
the way your fingers curl around mine, still nestled into the palm of my hand
the way my heart leaps when you tap on my chest, sigh “Mama” and rest your cheek where it beats loudly for you
the look in your eyes when you see a bee dive into a flower, a duck skid onto the river, and a new song from your sister’s mouth
how your head shakes with its first “no’s”, and the way your lips curl when you know you’re making a joke
the way your bravery meets your sheer joy at being in this world, this place, with your family close
the yellow flax in your hair that shines like melted gold when the sun shines on you
how you love your shoes, your little red and blue shoes, because that means exploration and racing and running
and i just want to hold you close and tight and keep you small for just a tiny little bit longer. my love.

See you back in this space on Monday where I’m so excited to announce a new swap!