I look at my two year old son, into his blue-turning-green eyes and my heart twists.
I want him to know unconditonal love and support, respect, tolerance. I want to use any influence I have to help him listen to himself about who he is and what matters to him. Healthy, in himself, and how he relates and contributes to the world.
Because the misogyny, the rape, the wars, the corruption, the violence, the deceit in the world scares me and I don’t understand it. I know it must have something to do with how we raise men, and how their fathers or male role models treat them and teach them to be in the world.
I’m doing much ruminating about this these days.
My commitment is to investigate and try to be consciously aware of my automatic responses that are shaped by patriarchy and by my own personal experiences with emotionally unavailable male role models. Those things need to come out of my shadows and into the light where I can see them for what they are.
And try something fresh.
In the meantime, it made me smile to hear him ask his dad (as they were reading a dinosaur book) “Why the apatosaurus is a he?” Thanks to his big sister, that questioning can be part of our book reading time.